O.K., so I’ve got to be honest I am tired of dealing with cancer. I have spent the entire summer in doctor’s offices, getting pricked and poked, enduring round after round of chemotherapy, feeling sick and exhausted, bones aching, and I am just really getting weary of living in this documentary about breast cancer!! I am ready for an action adventure, a comedy, or even a sappy chick flick. Just please, somebody change the channel!!
I was crying out to God today and found this verse in the Amplified Bible that seemed to fit my mood. “Evening and morning and at noon will I utter my complaint and moan and sigh, and He will hear my voice.” Psalm 55:17
I am so thankful that God will hear my complaints and not judge me for it. There is just something about telling my Savior about my struggles that makes things easier to bear. The amazing thing is—He WANTS to hear my grievances. He wants to hear me. He wants to hear you.
“Trust in, lean on, rely on, and have confidence in Him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts before Him. God is a refuge for us, a fortress and a high tower.” Psalm 62:8
When I look back on the last four months as I have battled this disease, God has never let me down. He continues to lift me up even when I complain and grumble. He has shown me His goodness in the people who have cared for me, loved me, and been so faithful to pray for me. He has opened my eyes to so many blessings in the middle of the mess; things I would have surely missed if I wasn’t fighting cancer this summer.
“He has redeemed my life in peace from the battle that was against me.” Psalm 55:18
Perhaps I would have enjoyed a Western or a travel documentary, but now that I think about it, I have learned a lot on this channel.
ahealingpath 
Aug 18, 2012 @ 02:36:37
Sigh, tough week for us both huh?! But you are absolutely right. He delights when we bring our pain to Him. When in the midst of our hurt and frustration when it costs us all we have to even lift our eyes – He meets and honors us there.
Not to take your metaphor to a cheesy level but I think the title of your documentary would be “He is Faithful”…
Aug 18, 2012 @ 18:36:41
Hi Leela,
You are so right!! The Faithfulness of God is a much better title of this documentary!
BIG hugs to you 🙂
Aug 18, 2012 @ 10:58:08
Found it !! Here you go, Erin. Mr Bean is on ;
Aug 18, 2012 @ 18:24:57
Thanks Ralph, I’ll check it out and be happy for the diversion!! 🙂
Aug 18, 2012 @ 16:14:18
Dear Erin, I am with you. May I translate this into Chinese and post it to my blog? It somewhat describes a situation of mine too, that you stuck somewhere, going nowhere, have to wait for changes. I love the way you put psalm verses into your contexts.
Aug 18, 2012 @ 18:26:59
Dear Xiwei,
Yes, of course you may translate this. Thank you!! I think we all feel like this at times, but God tells us to wait and His timing is always perfect!
Aug 18, 2012 @ 16:34:44
It was my moment of complaining and yelling out to God that I found comfort in Psalms as well. Those words spoken centuries ago opened a door for me ( my special meditation space) ~ an open field on an autumn morning inviting me to walk with Jesus through not only my cancer but all my trials, and He listened, He comforted me, He cried with me. The best thing I discovered is, He also rejoices with me – His Presence fills my life no matter what circumstances I find myself in, even when I don’t invite Him to our field, He is still there waiting to welcome me back to His Presence. May the love and peace of Jesus continue to bless you and fill your days with His presence. On your “bad” days think of the spiritual hugs I (and others) send your way on the wings of God’s angels. Blessings – Patty
Aug 18, 2012 @ 18:30:29
Dearest Patty,
Thank you for your support, your wonderful words of encouragement, and your spiritual hugs. I am inspired by you!! I am so grateful for the Psalms. It seems no matter my situation or mood, the words of the psalmists always touch my heart and uplift me. Blessings and love, Erin
Aug 18, 2012 @ 20:32:46
Actually it was during my time of chemo that I truly understood Psalms for the first time. Now it is my constant companion!
Aug 22, 2012 @ 18:10:33
Mine too!
Aug 22, 2012 @ 23:29:51
God is indeed awesome!
Aug 30, 2012 @ 14:36:24
Amen and amen!
Aug 19, 2012 @ 04:03:17
Thank God you have Someone to turn to when you are in the pits!
Psalms 50:15 …call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me.
Aug 22, 2012 @ 18:11:10
Amen and amen!!!
Aug 19, 2012 @ 05:34:27
Erin!
So good to hear an update. Even though this is so difficult, it’s great to see you are still able to see the positives! It shows how pure your heart faith are. I hope God continues to heal you and bless you. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings through everything. I truly admire your strength!!
“Happy are people who have pure hearts, because they will see God. (Matthew 5:8 CEB)
Aug 22, 2012 @ 18:12:43
Jenayu!
I love the verse in Mathew it is a good reminder for me. Thank you!!
Blessings and hugs to you 🙂
Aug 20, 2012 @ 12:25:52
I am so glad that you crossed my path. Thank you for stopping by my blog. Now I have come across yours with a heart’s desire to love and pray for you. I am so happy to hear that you are staying close to the Lord through this journey you are traveling. While I had a breast cancer scare last year, it was through TRUST that I had to totally rely on God no matter the outcome. My mom and my sister both went through breast cancer so my prayers have always been with them and for them just as well as any woman or person with cancer in general who are battling. With God, we can overcome even when we endure hardships. I’ve seen the good and bad days with my loved ones. I can only be with you in heart and prayer Erin but the Lord is with you always.
Thank you for sharing your optimism for it is a reminder for me when I will yet again have to go for another yearly exam. In God we should trust with our daily lives. He is our GREAT HOPE AND COMFORT.
Love and blessings to you,
Terra
Aug 22, 2012 @ 18:15:57
Terra,
Thank you so much for stopping by and taking the time to comment. It means so much to me to hear the strength and determination of others who have walked this road before me. I hold tightly to our Lord and He is getting me through. Thank you for you prayers, for your love, and encouragement.
Blessings and hugs,
Erin
Sep 14, 2012 @ 06:41:30
What an amazing blog. Such human-ness and spirituality all wrapped up in one. Love it.
Sep 15, 2012 @ 02:20:47
Thank you! I really enjoyed your blog as well. I can’t wait to start running again!