Here we go again…

I have had some mixed emotions heading to my next chemo infusion. While the first time I was somewhat in the dark about what to expect, I now know what tomorrow holds for me. Two weeks ago I had been warned what I might feel like after chemo and I had been given a list of possible side effects, but was also informed that everyone is different and each body responds in its own way. I would have to wait and see how it effected me. So now I know about me and my body’s response. YUCK!! There is no more mystery; it has been replaced by dread. A few days ago I started feeling anxious about returning to chemo and fear was beginning to creep in where there had been peace. I had been enjoying many good days of renewed strength and energy, seeing God’s provision for me and rejoicing in His protection over me. Then as I the time ticked away and chemo was once again looming in front of me, I began to remember the headache, nausea and exhaustion. I don’t want it!!! Yet, God in his mercy has reminded me I do not go alone into that chemotherapy room.

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

As I sit in the chair tomorrow I will remember God’s faithfulness and the way He has gently (but boldly) carried me through this battleground. “But you, O Lord, are a shield about me, my glory, and the lifter of my head. I cried aloud to the Lord, and he answered me from his holy hill.” Psalm 3:3,4

Today I will again rejoice in feeling good, feeling strong, and feeling loved by my daddy-God. Tomorrow I will let him carry me.


12 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Judi
    Jun 13, 2012 @ 15:46:51

    I had a very dear friend who went through chemo and I remember how ill she was after every treatment. I understand. Prayers for you today, and every day, until you are well once more!


    • erinambrose
      Jun 13, 2012 @ 16:36:11

      I am sorry your friend had to endure chemo. It is not fun. I rest in the fact that God is with me in it and will carry me. Thank you so very much for your prayers.


  2. Carol
    Jun 13, 2012 @ 21:13:06

    I wish you didn’t have to go through this. It is so hard. I am fervently praying that you will truly experience God carrying you through this in a way you could have never imagined.


  3. Jenayu
    Jun 14, 2012 @ 02:59:14

    My mom and I will keep ou in our thoughts and prayers today and tomorrow. I pray God goes ahead of you to prepare not only you, but also the doctors and nurses who will assist you. I pray He also carries you of you need it and that He gives you strength and peace now and as you continue on this journey.
    In His love,

    He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless. (Isaiah 40:29 NLT)


    • erinambrose
      Jun 20, 2012 @ 20:47:25

      Jenayu–You and your mom are just so wonderful to keep lifting me up in your prayers. God is faithful and He will be glorified through this struggle. Thank you for the scripture reference. HE is my strength!!!


  4. kim fredrickson
    Jun 14, 2012 @ 21:19:34

    Hi Erin,

    I’ve been praying for you yesterday and today, and will keep doing so. I know God will carry you as you fight this! Missed you yesterday…look forward to seeing you next week. I know God is right there beside you. I so wish you didn’t have to go through this…


  5. a_seed
    Jun 15, 2012 @ 15:28:53

    All these will come to pass, one at a time. Yeah Father will carry you in His strong arms…


  6. K-czuk
    Jun 19, 2012 @ 22:57:25

    Erin-have not seen any recent posts. I hope you are well. You are a source of strength and encouragement. Your posts are strong words of faith and wisdom which I dearly need to hear.


    • erinambrose
      Jun 20, 2012 @ 20:55:31

      Thank you so much for your thoughts and concern. I didn’t bounce back as quickly from chemo this time, but God is good everyday and giving me strength for this battle. We can always count on Him to carry us.


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